Rather NOT be alive

So most of you know I just had surgery a lil over a month ago. Well its an expensive surgery. My insurance told me they would pay 80% of the surgery and my most out of pocket would be 2,000$s. Well I got a sheet that shows you what was approved by your insurance and what wasnt. Well apparently my ENTIRE surgery wasn't covered. I now have to pay over 22,000$s out of pocket. So honestly I dont want to hear about people not having money or whatever. Try paying 35,000$s in student loans, 7,000$s in credit card debt, and over 30,000$s in medical bills. And yes I still make 10$s an hour, and cant live on my own. Even if I move back home, i wont be able to go out or see friends because I wont have any money. I will grow further and further into a depression. And soon I will be forgotten. I already feel forgotten by some of my friends. I mean people who I thought were even my best of friends still have yet to check on me since surgery. I would do anything for them in a heart beat.... but now I won't. I hope they know they have fucked themselves. ....just wish I had some type of merical happen in my life....