F**K MY LIFE!

So I am currently sitting at work, working. Please know I am not happy about it. I am kind of over it actually. I am really just kind of depressed today. I have my degree in criminal justice, and i really no longer want to work at the job i am working. And until I can join the army I figured why not do something I have my degree in. So I am currently filling out paperwork for a local police department to become a police officer. Well I had a friend here at my job print everything out for me, and he was ok with my decision. But my supervisor and others laughed in my face. All they see is me at work, not outside of work, not me actually trying to succeed at things I do. I use to be great at my job, GREAT. But when they started fucking us over, I gave up hope and quit doing a good job. Why do a good job if they get by doing half assed shit? ...You know it wasn't an equal opportunity here. We get treated like shit. They expect us to do so much work for so little income. I am over it. I had alot more to write but i have to get back to work... FML! Im done!

New Way

So I am starting a new way. For breakfast I had some watermelon and a banana. For lunch i had a small portion of a new york strip. Snacks will be a banana. And for dinner at work will be a small homemade walking taco. But right now its time to work out. Kind of excited. Sucks I have to do it at home cuz i am way to broke for a gym membership. Blah! My legs already feel like I have done 30 mins of squats. lol Maybe being on top during sex has its advantages? lol ....Sorry! Anyway I am going to go work out now!

Here Comes Goodbye

So I am sitting on my couch listening to the song "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts. It makes me think of what will happen in a year. I am joining the army and my MOS is Military Police. So I know once I get out of basic, I will be deployed. Most likely to afghanistan. Its the job I want, and I will be proud to do it. But I am also worried that I wont return home. I know its every soldiers fear but thats just my luck. And honestly its kind of depressing because I don't have much to show. I don't have a boyfriend, a husband, or any children. I mean I am still young, and stuff and that is why I am joining. I am hoping the army will help me find my path in life. Cause right now I just feel stuck. It really gets me down at times.

Depression sucks. I get depressed because I am bigger, so I eat. Then I get depressed that I am eating so I eat more. haha I will never drop the weight I want to before I leave. FML! ...I need motivation. Anyone willing to help?

Tomorrow I am going to start something new... find old pictures of me when I was skinnier, and post them every where, so I get so motivated to look like that that i have NO CHOICE! ha Yep thats what I am going to do. hahahaha Think it will work?

My work schedule just sucks so bad. Its 3 to 1130, so I really dont want to get up early and go work out. Maybe I should. I kind of want to run late at night while no one is out, but then I am afraid to get kidnapped. lol So yeah I am kind of stuck. ha ha Maybe if I had a jogging partner. But then they would have to live kind of by me. Ugh! See I am just fucked all around.

I am pretty sure alot of people are doubting I will join the army. But my mind and my heart are really set on this. This is my dream. And I am not marrying into it anytime soon, sooo I will be joining. I guess what it really depends on is the guy I might be dating, if I get pregnant, or something like that. My mom supports me. I haven't really talked to my dad about it. I really need to. My mom actually met my recruiter at the state fair. ha He was running the Army booth. I swear my mom was going to cry while she talked to him. Well I better get to bed... enough writing for tonight.

Psycho Women

Okay so my first blog I am going to actually rant about a friends crazy fucking ex. I have held back for 2 years and I am sick of holding back. She makes herself out to be so fucking innocent and perfect when in reality she is a fucking crazy psycho bitch. Im sorry but I know my brother aka best friend. He is a great person who isnt perfect but treats people with respect. Her on the other hand is a complex whore. I am sure she has bipolar, along with other mental issues that her children have to suffer thru. Not only her children are suffering but her family and her childrens fathers.

Let me shed some light on this blog...

While they were dating she had told him he couldn't talk to me because she thought stuff was going on. So because he loved her so much, he did so. He stopped talking to me and my family. My family saved him, he was so deep into shit, and my family saved him. So thanks to her he almost lost some of the most important people in his life. Although he gained one of the best things to ever happen to him, his daughter. But thats for another blog. Back to crazy bitch... She would always be nice to me to my face and then turn around and talk shit about me. While she was pregnant she would go around our work saying she could kick my ass and stomp me to the ground. Come on bitch... I am twice your size, and proud of it. At least I dont look like some cracked out schizophrantic psycho bitch! ...Do everyone a favor and get help. You lie to the the judge, to your lawyer, to everyone, and you get away with it. But trust me... you wont for long. Karma will catch up and bite you in the ass. And hopefully you will lose everything you ever worked for, because thats what you deserve. You don't deserve to be a mother. You don't deserve anything in life but yourself and a padded fucking room! Honestly the best thing you could do for your kids is give up your rights to the fathers and checking yourself out. If you know what I mean...

Okay Okay... i know what you people must think but honestly if you knew this person and had to deal with this person you would understand. Don't get me started on the fucking 50 dudes in one year, fucking numerous men at our work, bringing men over to her apartment while her children are home, being to drunk to take care of your baby while she screams in her crib... puke thats been on the floor of your car for weeks from a drunken night.... I don't want to get started on all that shit.

Wow I feel a little better after getting this all off my chest. She has a blog on here too, if I knew the link, I would post it, just so you can see how fucking crazy she is. lol Bitch be crazy!